A story that discusses moral conduct in sour speech and daily discussion
I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said that, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.” Talking about others, or spreading gossip, rumors and innuendo is often considered rude, impolite and has the potential to create unwanted conflict, hurt feelings and unfairly damage reputations.
There was a story about Socrates that addresses this very principle that I felt compelled to share, as best I can from my memory of how it was related to me.
The story goes that Socrates, who was renowned for his oratory skills, had just finished delivering a lecture in Athens when a man ran up to him proclaiming that he had some news to share regarding a mutual acquaintance.
“Alright”, said Socrates. “But before you tell me this thing about our mutual friend, let me ask you. Have you run it through the three sieves?” (Think filters for the purposes of this discussion.)
The man, obviously somewhat taken aback says, in some bewilderment, “Well, no. What exactly are the Three Sieves?”
“Well”, replied Socrates, “the first sieve is the test of truth. Is this thing you are about to tell me true?”
“Well, I’m really not certain”, replied the man. “I only heard it.”
“Okay, then let’s move to the second sieve”, replied Socrates. “This thing you wish to tell me about out friend, is it a good thing?”
“No”, replied the man. “Quite the contrary. It’s not good at all.”
“Okay”, said Socrates. “Then onto the last sieve. Is this thing you want to tell me. Is it necessary?”
“No”, replied the man, now hanging his head thoughtfully. “I guess it really isn’t.”
“So”, said Socrates. “If this thing you wish to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor necessary, why exactly do you wish to tell me?
Just an idea to consider the next time someone you know, either at work, in your family or in your social circle wants to tell stories about others, consider running it through the three sieves and see if you don’t view the issue differently afterwards.